Going through IVF can be exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. 


You’ve decided to create these little bundles of love embryos in an effort to have a family. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.


But what happens to the embryos once everything is complete? Deciding what to do next isn’t easy.


Maybe you’re considering donating them to help another family out but are nervous. 


You start to have a lot of questions. Who will get your embryos? How hard is the donation process? Will you know if a baby was born? What if the child tries to find out who you are in the future? Do I need to tell my family and friends about the donation? What if your child and the other child meet someday and don’t know each other?


Just know you’re not alone!


Let’s continue.



Do you need to tell your family and friends about the donation? Simple answer, no.


Going through IVF is a private matter. Aside from your partner/spouse, nobody else needs to know how your child was conceived. 


The same goes for donating your embryos. Telling family and friends is not an obligation in any shape, way or form. 


However, if you’re looking to donate your eggs to a potential adoptive family, sharing your journey with your close family and friends can be helpful. It makes telling your story with other people easier to tell.

Who will get your embryos?  It all depends on what you decide honestly. 


When starting your IVF journey, deciding what to do with any leftover embryos has to be made before the process begins. They can be donated, destroyed or kept frozen or assigned custody.


If you chose to donate through your fertility clinic, usually the recipient would be anonymous.


But if you use an embryo adoption program, you can set the criteria of the family to receive your embryo or even select a family yourself. You can require a criminal background check and have them complete adoption education to prepare them to raise an unbiological child. 


You may also decide to keep an open communication with the adoptive family if you’re comfortable with it


What if your child and the other child meet someday and don’t know each other?


As ridiculous as this sounds, it has happened before. 


That’s why having an open adoption allows you to know who the family is, information on their life and where they live to eliminate the risk of the children running into each other. 


There are so many questions that need to be answered before making decisions. Best thing to do is research your options. Because the bottom line is, your concerns are real and valid.


Having to decide on what to do with the little life you created is a difficult decision. 


All we can do is stay positive and know in the end everything will work out.