Valentine’s will be celebrated through the weekend, and it’s not easy for someone going through a divorce. There is no denying that it’s even more difficult if this is your first Valentine’s as newly single, or almost single. No matter the circumstance, there are ways to pick yourself up and continue looking forward to a positive future.

No one is saying that being alone on the day of love and romance can be avoided, there are hearts, chocolates and couples practically everywhere you look. There are ways though to redirect the love towards your new future and focus on your personal growth through this journey. Here are a few tips to keep yourself looking forward.

One, Spoil Yourself.

Spend some time indulging in what you really enjoy. Maybe it’s a sweet dessert, a shopping spree, a nice glass of wine; anything that you don’t normally treat yourself with. This is just one exercise of self-love that helps keep your mind off of the craziness in your divorce and onto what’s important, which is you! But avoid trying to “spoil” yourself by rekindling things with your ex. Remember, you both are in the midst of a divorce for a reason. Going back to your partner is adopting back all the problems you both are trying to leave behind, and its not healthy. Focus on loving yourself first.

Two, Spend Time with Your Kids, and Spend Time with Yourself.

Your children are very important to you, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t need time for yourself. Maybe plan a fun popcorn movie night together one weekend, and while they are away the next, have a popcorn movie night for yourself. There is nothing wrong with having time alone, and you should start cherishing it. Time alone will allow you to completely escape the constant business of your day or allow you to reflect on what your new future should look like. Don’t feel guilty about it, you need this time to relax and grow.

Three, Have a Party.

Nothing is better than getting together with all your friends and celebrating. It doesn’t have to be themed around love, and it doesn’t have to be about divorce either. This is a way to be surrounded by your people and just have fun. Divorce can be tedious and frustrating at it’s best, so taking a night off a few days after all the chocolates and candies go on sale is not a bad idea. In all seriousness, a night out with friends is a great to destress. Don’t let the topic of your divorce crowd the conversation, the night should be about laughter and fun. It’s important to take this time to focus on who empowers you and who you enjoy being around. This positive energy will continue driving you forward in your journey.

Do whatever makes you feel empowered, that’s the point of it all. You shouldn’t let your divorce take up all of your time and all of your energy. Focus on self-love, that’s the key.