Is Your Spouse A Passive Or Active Partner When It Comes To Household Chores And Childcare? What One Marriage Therapist Is Sharing


A happy and healthy relationship requires both partners to be equally invested in the relationship. 


That means that both partners need to be equally active in all aspects of the relationship, from sharing domestic responsibilities to communicating openly and frequently. 


When one partner is significantly more passive than the other, it can create an imbalance that can lead to resentment and conflict. 


According to marriage therapist, Corrin Voeller, she sees this all too often. 


One of the things she hears repeatedly from women is that when it comes to household chores and childcare their husbands don’t participate. 


They’re either waiting to be told what needs to be done at home or they’re looking for a partner who is actively responsible for the house and for the children. 


Corrin Voeller continues to state that her patients mentioned that even when they tell their passive partner what to do, they still don’t do it. 


The frustration continues.


The fact is, there’s a huge difference between a passive and active spouse. 


An active spouse will take initiative and jump right in to handle tending to their children or helping around the house with cooking, cleaning, finances, etc. while a passive spouse is available to help but is waiting to be told what to do. 


But it doesn’t just stop there with the household chores and children, it spills over into the relationship in general. 


How Do You Know If You Have A Passive Or Active Partner?

Here’s some things to look out for:


Do they make time for you? 


A passive partner may not always be available when you want to spend time together. 


They may cancel plans at the last minute or make excuses for why they can’t participate in certain activities. 


An active partner, on the other hand, will make an effort to spend time with you and participate in activities that are important to you.


Do they communicate openly? 


A passive partner may avoid difficult conversations or shy away from sharing their feelings; while an active partner will be more open and honest, even when it’s tough. 


They understand that communication is essential to a healthy relationship and are willing to put in the work to make it happen.


Do they support your goals? 


A passive partner may not be interested in your career goals or personal aspirations.


An active person on the other hand, will want to know what you’re working towards and will be eager to help you achieve your goals. 


Whether you are the active or passive spouse, it’s important to remember that your role in the relationship is just as important as your partner’s. 


No matter what kind of marriage you have, be sure to communicate with each other and support each other. 


If you feel like you need a little help getting back on track, seek out counseling from a therapist who specializes in couples therapy. 


It may seem daunting, but it can make all the difference for your relationship. 


Have you ever been in an active/passive marriage? What was your experience like?