This past year has been exceptionally tough. You gave your all to your marriage, but it still ended in divorce.
And to top it off, you now realize that your ex was a narcissist.
The pain, shock, and betrayal you feel is overwhelming and rightfully so.
Dealing with a narcissist during and after a divorce can be one of the most difficult things you will ever do.
These people are MASTERS of MANIPULATION and can make you feel like you are going crazy.
Take note YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Read that again. NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.
And with that knowledge know that there is hope for healing and moving on with your life.
Here are a few steps to help you begin your journey toward recovery and healing.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s normal to feel a range of intense emotions after divorcing a narcissist. You might feel angry, sad, isolated, confused, and even relieved—all at the same time. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or pretend like everything is okay when it’s not. Acknowledge how you feel, and give yourself permission to grieve the loss of your marriage.
2. Seek Out Support – You don’t have to go through this difficult time alone. Seek out supportive friends or family members who will listen to you without judgment. Or perhaps consider joining a support group for people who have been through narcissistic relationships or one on one counseling. Talking about what you’re going through can help you process your emotions and start to heal.
3. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts – If you find yourself thinking things like “I’m such a loser” or “I can’t do this,” challenge those negative thoughts with positive self-talk. Remind yourself that you are strong, you are courageous, and you are capable of making it through this tough time.
4. Take Good Care of Yourself – When you’re grieving a divorce, it’s easy to let your self-care fall by the wayside. But if you want to heal, it’s important to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This might mean making time for things like exercise, relaxation, and hobbies that bring you joy. Eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep can also help improve your mood and energy levels during this difficult time.
- Avoid Relying on Substances – It can be tempting to cope with your pain by turning to alcohol or drugs. But substance abuse will only make things worse in the long run. If you find yourself relying on substances to get through the day, seek out professional help before things spiral out of control
- Set boundaries with your ex – This is crucial—especially if you have kids together. Setting boundaries protects you and your children from further hurt and frustration. For example, decide how much contact you’re comfortable with, what topics are off-limits, and how quickly you expect any outstanding issues to be resolved. If necessary, put these boundaries in writing so that both parties are clear on what is expected from each party and how these boundaries will be enforced if they’re violated.
- Focus on the positive things in your life – What goals do you want to achieve? What kinds of relationships do you want to be a part of? How do you want to take care of yourself?
Divorcing a narcissist can be one of the most difficult and emotionally draining experiences you will ever go through.
The constant verbal abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation can leave you feeling worthless, confused, and broken.
It can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel
However, it is important to remember that you are not alone.
This too shall pass and YOU will come out on the other side stronger and more resilient.
One task at a time,
One step at a time,
One day at a time….YOU GOT THIS!