Dating after divorce when you have children can be a little scary. You want to get back out there and test the waters to hopefully find “true love bliss” while trying not to make the same mistakes as before.
You have all types of emotions running through your veins.
Remarrying when you have children is downright frightening!
Why?
Because it’s not just your heart you have to factor in this time around but that of your little ones. It can be really scary to think about.
But…sometimes it’s just hard to stay afloat when you’re on your own.
This makes you want to create a type of secure family unit that makes you feel everything is complete.
Is It Possible To Reach Marital Bliss The Second Time Around With Children?
Simple answer is, yes. Just use caution. Statistically speaking second and third marriages have a higher rate of divorce.
That does not mean yours will too. It just means that sometimes people don’t take into consideration some key factors before taking a second stroll down the aisle.
Some things to keep in mind as you choose to start your life over when you have children.
- Avoid getting married on the rebound. This is so important. If you’re all over the place and just looking to dive right back into a marriage, you need to take a step back. Some reflection is needed to take a look at the big picture.
- Don’t date until you’re happy being single. There’s an old saying when you’ve learned to live alone and be happy, that’s when you are ready to start letting someone back into your life. Take the time to reconnect with yourself.
- Settle issues beforehand with your potential spouse. Faith, discipline, goals, finances, in-laws are areas that need to be worked out prior to marriage. Make sure you’re on the same page as not to bring additional stress into the marriage.
- Have patience if your husband doesn’t understand your protective nature when it comes to your children. It’s an adjustment period, especially if he doesn’t have any children of his own.
- Blending a family takes time. It won’t happen overnight. Everyone is learning about everyone in the beginning.
- Do some research on the dynamics on how stepparent families work. You need to make sure you have a clear picture of what to expect.
- Expect your children to have some difficulty adjusting. Having a new man in the house can often make them feel threatened as to where they stand with you.
You have to keep in mind that all journeys are not the same. There is no one-size-fits-all answer for couples. Working together on what it is you want to accomplish together as a family is key. Open communication is critical to marital success.
If you find yourself struggling with whether or not to walk down the aisle again, seek a professional counselor. They will help you to open up communications with one another and set you on the right path. Remember to always keep the faith. Good things happen in time!
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