Divorce is hard. As an adult trying to navigate your way through it can be very stressful, and difficult. Especially, when there are children involved. 


You have to be careful to take into consideration not just your heart or your partner’s, but those of the little ones created during the union. Things can get a bit tricky.


However, over the years, there’s been new “techniques” that have been created to help families navigate a separation more easily and as painlessly as possible.


One way is known as a bird nesting divorce.


Essentially, bird nesting is a technique created to help couples lessen the effects of the divorce on their child(ren).  It’s when a child(ren) remains in the family home while their parents alternate staying with them. 


Simply put, when it’s one parent’s time to be with their child(ren), they will stay in the house while the other parent stays elsewhere. 


This gives the child(ren) a sense of stability by keeping them in a familiar space, in the same school and around their friends. It also helps give them time to get used to the idea of living life separately with each parent.  


What makes this technique so unique is that it’s the movement of the parents rather than the kids. Interesting, right?


Some parts of this technique have not only been used temporarily, but have also been practiced for years with very successful outcomes.


And just like any custody agreement, it can grow and change with the family’s circumstances.


Bird nesting gives families the time necessary to make the transition from one family unit to two with as little change or uprooting as possible. 



There are several benefits to this technique: 


  • Finances-May actually help parents save money after a divorce with the need to finance only one other home as a possibility. 
  • Decisions-Allows parents to put off making any difficult decisions until the divorce is final.
  • Stability-Gives child(ren) sense of stability while they adjust to living with each parent separately.
  • Transitional-It helps the child(ren) get used to the idea of their parents separating without having everything change all at once.
  • Practice-Allows for each parent to adjust to being a single parent and practice maintaining an independent home.


But as with any benefit, there usually are some drawbacks, including:


  • Finances-Though it may save money in some cases, it can be harder for parents to maintain several residences plus utilities at same time. 
  • Instability-For some separating couples, it can be difficult to make a new space feel like home if they keep sharing residences with the other parent.
  • Conflict-If there’s conflict among the parents, it often affects the children making them feel unstable and agitated with their new situation. 


The fact is, nobody really knows which technique will work when separating with kids. 


Remember that the best “technique” to choose is the one that works best for your family. Something that may work for one family, may not work for another and that’s okay. The well-being of you and your children is the priority, not the method in which you get there.